Fair Play
by denmother
Summary: A silly one shot in which Bella tries to loosen Edward's physical boundaries. Post Eclipse, Pre Breaking Dawn and slightly OOC


**A/N: Okay, this is my first fanfic, just a one shot that was rolling around in my brain while I was working on another project. Hope you like. Review either way!**

**Stephenie Meyer is the genius and anything you recognize she absolutely owns. **

**Fair Play**

**Bella**

The butterflies in my stomach threatened to overwhelm me as I waited, snuggled under the covers, hands fisted under my chin. I calmed myself by listening for the sound of Charlie's snoring, knowing the instant he drifted Edward would come to me. Just the thought of his name sent the butterflies into another flurry of chaos.

I wasn't usually this nervous-excited, always- but not so nervous as I was now, at what I hoped to do tonight. Edward had been driving me crazy with his carefully drawn boundaries when it came to our physical relationship. Always bringing me dizzily to the edge of my hunger for him, only to pull away when my need was at its highest. His argument was not completely invalid; I knew intimacy would certainly be easier for him after I was changed. For one thing, he wouldn't have to work so hard not to crush me. He reminded me all the time of how careful he must be, how truly fragile I was in his arms, no more than a soap bubble being held by a mountain lion. Also, I knew he worried that any moment of passion would cause his carefully maintained control to slip, and he was still contending with the sweet smell of my blood, calling to him with every beat of my heart. Still, all these things would not budge him from his "demand", nothing could make him as eager as I was for my own immortality. When he couldn't talk me into waiting past graduation, he'd switched tactics and started playing hard ball. What I truly wanted was for Edward, my own guardian angel, the center of my world, my most beloved vampire to do it himself, to bite me. To make me like him. When I admitted as much Edward agreed to be the one to "take my soul" as he sees it…if… The only condition, the only thing that could turn me green while simultaneously making him smug and elated… if I married him. _Ugh. How can he possibly think this is reasonable? Sigh. Because he's Edward, a truly and wholly good vampire. One who follows the rules. All of them. Which of course, is one reason I love him so much. But still… rules are made to be broken right? Every teenager who hasn't been seventeen for the last 80 years knows that! He drives me crazy!_

Physically, mentally, in every way he was driving me crazy. So tonight, I had decided that turn about really _is_ fair play. I was going to push him to dizzying edges of hunger and see how he likes it. _It's not right to test him so, to make him push his limits. He'll be angry._ True. But maybe, for once in the entirety of our hideously stacked (in his favor) relationship, he'd lose control for the space of one of my heartbeats. Just enough for me to know that he wanted me, no- needed me, as desperately as I did him. I peeked under the covers to see the modest swell of my breast, aided by the bra top camisole. _Well… not much more I can do there…_My eyes followed the flat planes of my stomach to the swath of skin exposed at my midriff. _A tanning bed wouldn't be a bad idea._ I took in the way the boyshorts, a light waffle-weave knit, skimmed the curve of my hips and ended impossibly high on my thigh. _This is a bad idea. I'm already losing my nerve. I can't do this- listen to my heart! It will beat right out of my chest and give me away before he's even through the window! _Also true. Especially since Edward was always listening for the most subtle nuances of my heart beat, waiting for it to reveal my thoughts. He had become almost as skilled at reading my heartbeats as he was at picking thoughts from other people's minds. The fact that my mind was somehow closed to his ability was my only ally, the only thing that gave me even the slightest advantage.

_Okay. Enough. Get up and put some real clothes on, I don't want him running from my raging hormones._ _I'd rather have as much of him as I can without tempting Fate to tip the scales any further away. _

I let the covers fall and gasped as my eyes met Edward's smoldering, golden and, much to my chagrin, highly curious gaze.

"Bella? What's going on in there?" that crooked grin making my heart throb. My face blushed furiously as I hugged the covers tight, fisting it under my chin. _Busted!_ He chuckled at my blush and sank onto the bed beside me, his hand coming up to cup my burning cheek. "Listen to your heart fly," he whispered, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watched my face, taking in the reddened tint of my cheeks. "I love this color on you." Another wave of crimson flooded me. My skin was so hot I was afraid it would melt away.

"So, what were you studying so intently when I came in? And why do you look guilty?"

I sighed and let him pull me into his arms, still all wrapped up in the blanket so as not to catch a chill from the icy temperature of his skin. His chest brought soothing relief to my heated face as I lay my head to rest there.

"If you must know, I was having a human moment." I mumbled, slightly defensive at being almost caught out. _Quick! Change the subject! _"How was hunting?" _Please take the bait…_

"Okay, I'll bite," Edward said on a low chuckle. My body went stiff. _I thought he couldn't read my thoughts!_ He laughed again and kissed the top of my head, "Not you, silly." _Oh. Oh! Pretty please?_ "Hunting with Emmet is always amusing. He gets so frustrated with hunting small game. Still, it was successful…at least, I'm not thirsty." He slid his gaze to mine and my heart slammed into the wall of ribs surrounding it. His eyes were light and golden but somehow hot enough to melt me at the same time. "I am hungry, however."_ Yes, those eyes are definitely hungry. Gulp._

"Hungry?" I squeaked. _Did I just squeak?! Did he just laugh at my squeaking?_

"Mmhmm" he murmured into my neck. "Hungry for this," he kissed behind my ear. "And this," he kissed along my jaw. "And this," the corner of my mouth. "And definitely," he whispered against my lips, "I am most definitely hungry for this." Edwards marble lips softly brushed against mine, sending sparks of electricity skittering to my core. I was already trembling, anticipating the deeper kiss his words had hinted at. _Probably teasing me…again…Oh, who cares? I love this! _He didn't make me wait long before crushing his marble lips against my own. I sighed into his mouth as his tongue first traced and then parted my swollen lips. His fingers knotted in my hair and his weight shifted slightly to press our bodies closer together._ Breathe Bella! _I broke away to take a rasping breath. I was overheated from his kissing and my blushing and the general excitement of being so in love with Edward Cullen. The Edward Cullen. My Edward Cullen. Chill radiated from his body,just starting to permeate the blanket. His hand slowly moved down the line of my body, leaving a fire in its path as he whispered into my neck. "You smell so _good_, Bella." His hand paused at the curve of my hip, resting there gently, his right arm wrapped around me, pulling me closer to his body. I sighed in contentment… mostly, trying to keep the hysterical edge of my desperate need to be impossibly close to him out of the sigh. His left hand slid up to inch the quilt down and expose my shoulder. I sighed again, breathing his name as he kissed a trail from my jaw, down my neck, lingering a moment to inhale my scent as my pulse throbbed in my vein. He slowly and deliberately, testing himself at each moment, kissed his way to my shoulder and then down my arm, slowly moving the quilt to expose the desired skin as he worked his way down. When he reached my hand he pulled it up to cradle his face in my palm, skimming his nose over the skin of my wrist and forearm, inhaling his favorite bouquet, swallowing the burning venom that pooled in his mouth at the fresh wash of my scent in his throat. "Mmmm…" he murmured, eyes closed, perfectly crooked smile in place. I wondered at his ability to so easily, so willingly endure the pain my scent engendered in his raging thirst.

My heart stuttered and I felt my eyes glaze over as he kissed his way to my collarbone, his feather light lips exerting just enough pressure not to tickle. I could hardly wait to meet his lips with my own, to part them, to taste his breath. I turned my head quickly to catch his mouth as he dipped forward to my neck. I felt his smile rather than saw it, felt his relish of my desire to be with him. I knew Edward thought I was brave to stay with him, to be with him this way when my blood was always calling to him, but the truth is I am not brave enough to let him go. Edward is the center, the most necessary part of my existence and without him, without us, I cease to be entirely. I know this to be true. I remembered that darkness so clearly. In an effort not to be pulled under by that heavy blackness I locked my arms around his neck and threw myself even more passionately into this kiss, trying to show him the myriad of emotions I was feeling for him. I expected him to quickly extricate himself from my arms and trap me to his chest, but he surprised me. I must have been effectively communicating my need for him, for my breath caught in surprise as he knotted his fingers in my hair and pressed his body infinitesimally closer.

There is no way for me to think coherent thoughts when Edward responds to me like this. When my lungs were gasping for air he pulled back just enough to look in my eyes and say, "You're pushing my boundaries, Bella." His voice was a lower, throatier rasp than his usual velvet. _No! Not yet!_ I bit my lip and waited for the inevitable pulling away, the quick placement of the invisible wall he kept between us. His eyes were dark and smoldering, hungry as he held my gaze. "Two can play at this game, Bella." _WHAT?WH-_"Oh!" I gasped as he swiftly pulled the quilt from my grasp and tossed it off the bed. _Ready or not, here it comes! _

His eyes popped wide at the site of me doffing my usual holey sweats for a much less grungy and hopefully much more tempting ensemble. The butterflies in my stomach nearly carried me off the bed. "Bella!" he roared, his face incensed. _Uh oh. Now I'm gonna get it._ We both froze, listening for the sound of Charlie's snoring. "Bella," he hissed, "what is _this_?" He grabbed my hips in both hands to emphasize his point. I blushed furiously, refusing to meet his gaze and turning my face to the side. I could feel his eyes blazing a trail down my body, searing every last inch. I waited, but he said nothing more so I peeked at him from the corner of my eyes.

"You. Are. Evil." He muttered lowly, almost to himself. His eyes were focused on the exposed skin of my tummy. I could hardly think as his hands, so slowly, slid up to fan across my midriff and wrap around my sides. Without thinking, without even knowing it I whimpered and moved my hips under his touch. This time I heard Edward catch his breath. He stroked my skin again, delighted to watch me squirm under him. His icy hands seared my skin as they travelled unbearably slowly down my hips, over my thighs, behind my knees, slowly caressing my calves and massaging my feet. Edward's eyes, focused hunter's eyes, watched the skin beneath his fingertips turn to goose bumps at his touch. He watched me as I imagine he stalks his prey. It was almost scary, but it was Edward and so I was safe. I watched him through hazy eyes as he slowly lowered his head to my navel, his perfect lips kissing a trail from left to right. _Holy crow, this is really happening!_ I tried to gather my wits as his lips continued a lazy exploration of the exposed flesh. When Edward's tongue slipped out to taste my skin I completely lost the last shred of control I had and watched as my hands, with no thought of my own came quickly forward to twist into his hair and pull him closer at the same time that I pressed closer to him. What had started out as a low throb in my center was now a raging tattoo, demanding attention, ensnaring me in its rhythm. _Too much. How will I survive when he pulls away, as he surely will?_ "Edward!" it came out both gasp and plea as my hands tightened in his hair and my body shifted under him. There was nowhere to go- his hands on my hips had me locked in place. An involuntary shudder tore through me as I realized I might actually be getting what I want this time.

Taking his time and paying very close attention to detail he kissed a trail from the top of my panties to the bottom edge of my shirt. Moving carefully he settled on the bed until he lay between my legs and over my hips, allowing himself better access as his fingers worked my shirt up inch by inch and his mouth first kissed, then licked, then sucked until I was moaning, shaking my head side to side, crazed with desire. When he came to the base of my breast he stopped, lifted himself slightly and trailed his fingers back to my waist, pulling the shirt down as he went. _What? WHAT?!?!_ "No," I moaned, eyes closed, body rocking as he pulled away. Again my arms were involuntarily reaching for him, trying to close the gap as he moved off the bed. Suddenly they were pinned above my head in an iron fetter and my eyes snapped open. Edward's eyes were black as pitch in a different way than I had seen before. They pinned me to the bed and betrayed his desire as he growled.

"No, Bella. No. We've been through this so many times. This is my last card, I will _not_ play it until you are tied to me in every way. You know this! What are you thinking?" He stared at me with so much accusation and desperation that my eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, Edward, I wasn't thinking. Well, not clearly." I sobbed. "I just get overwhelmed with this craving and then I _can't _think. I'm sorry, so sorry that I hurt you this way. I was just hoping to get you to lose control for one minute, just to see if you want me as surely and desperately as I want you…" I broke off and turned my face away as the tears fell freely.

"Bella," he whispered, his breath cool on my face as he turned my eyes to his, "you have no idea. Where an army of newborns, a pack of werewolves and the Volturi haven't been able to finish me off, you- my little lamb- in holey sweats and messy hair crumble my defenses! How desperate do you think I am now, with you here, wanting me this way, the very same way I want you? What you don't understand and can't seem to wrap your mind around is that more than anything what I need is _forever_, Bella, not one stolen night while Charlie sleeps in the next room. An eternity of nights with you, like this, being together. But _not until we're married. _When you give me that, I'll give you this," he gestured with his hand. He tenderly kissed my tears and murmured, "And I won't trick you to get my way, either." I groaned and blushed as I tried to roll away from him again. "If I let your hands go, do you promise to behave?" I sniffled and nodded and he released them to fall to my sides.

I curled up into a ball facing away from him, the shame of my ruse tempering the unmet needs of my body. I felt Edward tugging on my ankles and didn't have the energy to resist. I kept my eyes from his gaze until I felt something being slid onto my legs. "What's this?" I asked as he lifted my hips and pulled up what I could now see where my usual sweat pants. "Well, Bella," smugness oozing from his voice, "turnabout…" He pulled me up and slid something over my head. Before I even got my arms into the sweat shirt he jammed a toboggan on my head. I opened my mouth to protest but he kissed me just long enough to shut me up, moved to my feet and I saw I was now wearing socks. He sat up and looked at me with so much laughter in his eyes I couldn't help but laugh too. "Is fair play." And he kissed the tip of my nose while wrapping a scarf around my neck.

"I love you, Edward," I said on a sigh. "I'm sorry for pushing your boundaries, for being so selfish. Am I forgiven?" I peeked at him from under my lashes.

"Indeed. How can I be mad at you for loving me, for wanting me? I'm sorry that you doubted my feelings for you, my Bella. Even looking like an Eskimo, you're the most beautiful creature in the whole of creation. Truly, I love you."

Edward pulled me into his arms, assuming our usual sleeping posture. All really was forgiven. I really was beautiful to him! _Such a miracle. How can it be?_ "Um, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can sleep in a scarf and hat…"

"Guess you should have thought of that before tonight's charades. You knew I would have to defend my honor somehow." I could hear the laughter in his voice, could sense his smile behind me.

"Edward! You said I was forgiven!" I took off the scarf and hat and threw them to the floor beside the bed, then turned to snuggle into his chest.

"Goodnight, Edward. I love you."

"And I you. Sleep, my little Eskimo, my only love." He began to hum my lullaby and I fell asleep wondering what it would be like when we were married...

**Edward**

I hunted as quickly as I could, in a hurry to be back with Bella at Charlie's first snore. The anxiety I felt when away from her was hardly tempered by the satiated thirst, but necessary for so many reasons. It was getting harder to spend the night in her room, _my finacee's room,_ without letting our physical relationship escalate. However I was sure that if I caved on this point Bella would run off to Carlisle as quick as a wink and have him change her immediately. More than anything I wanted her to be human as long as she would. Of course the part of myself that desired that, that knew it was the best and right thing for her, warred constantly with my more selfish desire to change her right now. To not have to hold back, to be completely free with her without the raging thirst or fragile state of her humanity. I hated that part of myself that wanted to change her just to ensure our eternity, hated that I could be so callous and selfish when it came right down to it. _The lights are off, I can hear Charlie. One more second and I'll be flying through that window._ I paused for a moment to let the breeze draw her scent to me and to wash away the venom that pooled in response to its potency. It wasn't nearly as compelling now, after I had lost her and knew what kind of hell it was to be without that perfect beating heart. I knew I would do nothing to hurt her now, I was in no danger of being controlled by the monster inside when it came to Bella's blood. Now that that danger was under wraps it was much easier to focus on not killing her by accident, on being gentle and drawing boundary lines to protect us both from the brute strength I had when I was out of control in any capacity. I knew she was frustrated by the carefully drawn lines, but how else could I show my love for her than by protecting her life?

After I swallowed he last of the venom, grimacing at the burn, I silently leapt into her room through the open window. At first glance all I saw was a tent- like structure on her bed, made from her quilt, but upon second inspection I saw the top of her head. _What is she doing? Should I interrupt? Sometimes I would give my right arm to be able to hear those thoughts of hers… this is definitely one of those times._ She dropped the quilt and was looking me square in the face as she gasped and turned bright red.

"Bella? What's going on in there?" Her face blushed furiously as she held the covers tight around her. _Listen to her heart! Oh I love that adorable blush, it will be sorely missed when she is changed. _I chuckled at her blush and sank onto the bed beside her, my hand coming up to cup her burning cheek.

"Listen to your heart fly," I whispered, "I love this color on you." _It isn't right for a person to be so beautiful! How can I resist this temptation? I need to get a grip. Anyway, what's that guilty look all about…_

"So, what were you studying so intently when I came in? And why do you look guilty?"

She sighed as I pulled her to my chest, keeping the blanket tucked around her so as not to give her a chill from my cooler temperature. She instantly relaxed and lay her head against my chest. _No fear at all. Do any other people fit this way, so perfectly, so naturally? Although… I guess it isn't so natural since one of us isn't even human…_

"If you must know, I was having a human moment." she mumbled, sounding slightly put out at being caught.

"How was hunting?" _Ah, she wants to change the subject… Okay, I'll take the bait._

"Okay, I'll bite," I said on a low chuckle. Her body went rigid in my arms. _Maybe not the best choice of words._ I laughed again and kissed the top of her head, "Not you, silly." _Is she disappointed?! I heard that sigh. So eager for eternal damnation. Best to keep her distracted, and I know exactly how to go about distracting Bella._

"Hunting with Emmet is always amusing. He gets so frustrated with hunting small game. Still, it was successful…at least, I'm not thirsty." I slid my gaze to hers and heard her heart slam into the wall of ribs surrounding it. I let my gaze go liquid gold as I stared into her eyes. "I am hungry, however."

"Hungry?" she squeaked. I had to laugh.

"Mmhmm" I murmured into her neck. "Hungry for this," I kissed behind her ear. "And this," I kissed along her jaw. "And this," the corner of her perfect, pouty, delicious mouth. "And definitely," I whispered against her lips, "I am most definitely hungry for this." My marble lips softly brushed hers softly, and the warmth of her skin made me shiver deliciously. She was already trembling, anticipating the deeper kiss my words had hinted at. _Am I in control? She's not going to control herself for long. Can I handle that? I'll handle it. _I didn't make her wait long before crushing my lips against hers. She sighed into my mouth as my tongue first traced and then parted her already swollen lips. Her fingers knotted in my hair and I shifted my weight slightly to press our bodies closer together._ She's forgetting to breathe. Give her a minute. _I broke away and her breath came in a rasp. _Does she have any idea how sexy I find her? How much I love these moments, losing myself in the warmth of her skin on mine, her softness? And her smell! Oh!_ I could feel the heat her racing pulse created creeping through the quilt. I felt a little… okay, a lot smug at causing this reaction in her. I'm sure as I could feel her warmth, she could feel my cool. Fire and ice. My hand slowly moved down the line of her body as I whispered into her neck. "You smell so _good_, Bella." My hand paused at the curve of her hip, resting there gently, my right arm wrapped around her, desperate to have her closer. She sighed in contentment and something else I couldn't quite ascertain…impatience, maybe? _She can not have any idea how her eagerness makes this infinitely more arousing and also difficult._ My left hand slid up to inch the quilt down and expose her shoulder. She sighed again, breathing my name as I kissed a trail from her jaw, down her neck, lingering a moment to inhale her scent as her pulse throbbed in the vein. _Too much, too sweet, too perfect. Go slowly, steadily. Maintain control. _I slowly and deliberately, testing myself at each moment, kissed a trail down to her beautiful, slender shoulder and then down her arm, gently pulling away the quilt to expose the desired skin as I went. When I reached her hand I pulled it up to nuzzle her palm, skimming my nose over the skin of her wrist and forearm, inhaling my favorite bouquet, swallowing the burning venom that pooled in my mouth at the fresh wash of her scent. "Mmmm…" I murmured, eyes closed, smile in place. _I could lose myself in the scent of her. Amazing how my desire for her life wins out over the monster every time._

I could hear her heart's erratic beating as I kissed my way to her collarbone. On my way back up her neck, she quickly turned her head to capture my lips. I relished her eagerness and couldn't suppress a smile as we kissed. _She's so brave, my little lamb. Here she lays, all warm and beautiful, snuggling into me as if she doesn't even care I'm a lion. She doesn't care! So brave, Bella._ Her arms locked around my neck, pulling me closer with an edge of desperation and I knew she was making up for lost time. _I'm so sorry. So sorry I hurt you, lied to you in such a terrible way. I'm sorry both of us wasted that time. I will make it up to you Bella!_ A tinge of self loathing washed through me as I thought of that dark time for us both. If only I could make her forget! I knew I could make her forget it for at least this moment, so I knotted my fingers in her glorious chestnut hair and pulled her closer, sinking myself into the kiss. With my lips, I tried to convince her of my enduring love and commitment, to show her that she is my life, now, forever. I would never be separated from her again. Her answering gasp sent a tremor through my body. I pulled her closer. _Enough! I can feel the hunger, not for her blood, but for her, her warmth, her body, to hear her gasping my name over and over ag-NO! Enough. She needs to breathe anyway._

I pulled back just enough to look into her eyes and say, "You're pushing my boundaries, Bella." _Oh! Just look at those incredible eyes! How can I disappoint her, even if it is for her own good? Truly, I am a monster, unable to keep my hands, my lips, my body to myself. _Her eyes were lidded and wild with desire. And then she bit her lip. It was my undoing. That perfect pink pout split in half by her beautiful teeth, so innocent in its beauty yet shockingly sexual in this context, and I lost is completely. _She is hoping I will not stop now! She wants this to continue! The lamb desperately wants to seduce her lion! Oh, Bella. _I knew what my eyes looked like to her: dark and hungry as I held her gaze and made my choice. My voice came out throaty and low, "Two can play at this game, Bella." Again she gasped as I swiftly pulled the quilt away from her and tossed it off the bed.

Nothing in the century I had lived could have prepared me for the sight of Bella in lingerie. "Bella!" I roared, incensed at her trickery… mostly. The more selfish and less in control part of me was overjoyed at her display of skin just for me. A room away Charlie's snores stuttered, then resumed. I looked back into her wide and fearful eyes, she was waiting for my rejection. Mindful of Charlie, I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Bella, what is _this_?" I grabbed her hips in both hands to emphasize my point. _Wrong move! Her skin! I've never had this little between the skin of my hands and the skin of her body. The heat of her is nearly overwhelming! Oh! Keep your eyes on hers, do not look. Do NOT look! Too late._ Slowly, trying to stop myself every second I took in the length of her beautiful form. At the same time that my body nearly went limp at her beauty, the fire in my core kicked up about ten notches and screamed for attention. My gaze travelled all the way to her toes, taking in every inch of perfect white skin, the curve of her hip, her thighs, her delicious calves. As I travelled back up her body, keeping my hands locked in place my eyes caught and held at the exposed skin of her stomach, just below and above the most perfect belly button in the whole of creation. _Why is she doing this to me? She's not an angel, but a demon sent straight from hell to torture me to death._ "You. Are. Evil." I whispered the thought out loud, unthinking of how it would affect her. Not thinking of anything but that skin, just begging to be touched, caressed, kissed, licked, devoured. With a will of their own my hands moved to fan across her midriff and take possession of her tiny waist. She whimpered and squirmed her hips under my hands, causing me to catch my breath. _I'm making her squirm! Is it so bad to give her what she wants? I can't remember why I have imposed conditions for this anyway, not now. Try that again._ I felt so powerful at the way she responded to me, I wanted to make her wriggle those perfect hips again. Once more I stroked her sensitive flesh and once more she panted and writhed. I glanced at her eyes; they were clouded, unable to focus, awash with arousal. _This should be interesting…_ Calculating every moment, not giving myself over completely but unable to stop myself from continuing this exploration I lowered my lips to her skin, kissing a trail across that wash of flesh. I felt her excitement beneath me as her body hummed with victory, thinking I had finally and completely caved before her ability to seduce me. Every time my lips touched her skin an electric shock skittered through my body, arousing and tormenting me. _I could do this forever and never grow weary._ And so, in the spirit of fully exploring this uncharted territory, I added another sense and allowed myself to gather some of that skin into my mouth and truly taste it. _Oh! How is it possible to smell this good AND to taste this good? _As I tasted of her I felt the last remaining ounce of control leave her. Almost in tandem with my tongue traversing her skin, her fingers searched for purchase and found it in my hair, pressing me closer while at the same time arching into me.

"Edward!" it came out both gasp and plea as her hands tightened in my hair and her body shifted under me. _Oh no, little lamb, there will be no escaping me now._ My hands on her hips locked her in place. A shudder nearing a convulsion ran through her body at her anticipation of getting what she wanted. I smiled and continued exploring her skin. _I need to buy myself some time, here, think this through. _

I settled down and took in every detail as I kissed a trail from the top of those adorable panties to the bottom edge of her shirt. _If I give into her now, how will I get her to marry me sooner rather than later?_ With my heightened senses, the musky scent of her arousal as I kissed the band of her panties almost overwhelmed me. It was deeper, more beautiful than her blood even, awakening an entirely new kind of human hunger in me of which I had no recollection, but responded to quite naturally. I shifted myself to lie between her legs, my chest resting on her mound, putting pressure on the sensitive center of her desire. I was careful not to place my full weight on her, after all, crushing her would not give either of us a happy ending. …_Not to mention once we've done this, I certainly won't be able to keep my hands off of her. Judging by her response, I'd say it would be very difficult for Bella as well. Excellent to find out I'm actually good at this…_ My new position of straddling her with my torso gave me the definite advantage of continuing my exploration to the north. As my fingers, lips and tongue continued to the base of her breast, the delicacy of her frame reminded me of why we needed to wait. Her head shook from side to side, she was panting, writhing, moaning for more of my touch. Her desperate pleas and the reactions they inspired nearly destroyed me. It was a rare moment where I truly wished she were a vampire, that I could possess her in this way with no fear of harming her. But taking her now… _If I don't kill her in the process. I must make her mine in every way before I make her mine in this way. It's for the best, for her protection, even from me, from my desire to love her. For the soul she believes I have and for the one she so obviously possesses, I will not cross this line. _Slowly, I lifted myself gently from her body and trailed my fingers back down, taking the shirt with me to gently cover her up. She moaned a protest, eyes closed and body rocking as I pulled away from her. Her arms blindly reached for me, trying to pull me back, so I quickly gathered them into my wrist and pinned them above her head. Bella's beautiful eyes snapped open as she came crashing down from her high. As her gaze focused I saw the disappointment of failure, the frustration that this had not gone as planned and momentarily I was more angry than flattered by her plotting.

"No, Bella. No. We've been through this so many times. This is my last card, I will _not_ play it until you are tied to me in every way. You know this! What are you thinking?" As I stared into her eyes, I felt my own change from desire to accusation and in response to that accusation her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears, nearly breaking my heart. _Don't cry, my love. _

"Oh, Edward, I wasn't thinking. Well, not clearly," she sobbed. "I just get overwhelmed with this craving for you and then I _can't _think. I'm sorry, so sorry that I hurt you this way. I was just hoping to get you to lose control for one minute, just to see if you want me as surely and desperately as I want you…" she broke off and turned her face away as the tears fell freely.

_All this was a design to see if my desire matched hers? How could she doubt my desire for her in any capacity? _"Bella," I whispered, gently cupping her cheek and turning her eyes to mine, "you have no idea. Where an army of newborns, a pack of werewolves and the Volturi haven't been able to finish me off, you- my utterly absurd little lamb- in holey sweats and messy hair crumble my defenses! How desperate do you think I am now, with you here, wanting me this way, the very same way I want you? What you don't understand and can't seem to wrap your mind around is that more than anything what I need is _forever_, Bella, not one stolen night while Charlie sleeps in the next room. An eternity of nights with you, like this, being together. But _not until we're married. _When you give me that, I'll give you this." I tenderly kissed her tears and murmured, "And I won't trick you to get my way, either." I grinned, but couldn't laugh at something so raw for her at this moment. She blushed and tried to roll away from me again. "If I let your hands go, do you promise to behave?" She acceded, so I released her from my iron grip and allowed her to roll away from my face for the sake of her comfort. I wished for a way to lighten the moment, to take some of the weight from her shoulders. From the corner of my eye I caught sight of her usual pj's, piled in a corner. _Aha! I'll wrap her up in something decent, although Bella is scandalous in everything, even grungy sweats and extra large t-shirts…No, don't go there. I'll wrap her up and add that scarf and toboggan for good measure. At the very least it will make her smile. Plus, she needs to know I always want her, no matter what she's wearing… or not wearing._ Better not to continue that train of thought if I wanted any peace down _there_ tonight, so I lightly got up and started gathering the necessary articles of clothing.

Bella was curled into a ball facing away from me. It looked like she was feeling utterly humiliated and deflated. She didn't fight me as I tugged her legs away from her chest and began dressing her. She didn't even get curious until I lifted her hips to slide the waistband into place. "What's this?" she asked with guarded confusion. "Well, Bella, turnabout…" I pulled her up and slid a large sweat shirt over her head. Before she could get her arms in the sleeves and fight me I jammed the toboggan on her head, sad to see any of her hair disappearing underneath it. _Although, she does look adorable in that hat! Maybe I can get her to wear ONLY the hat… NO! Get a grip!_ She opened her mouth to protest but I kissed her just long enough to make her dizzy so I could sneak some socks on her feet. She looked at me, took in my grin and laughed with me at the silliness of bundling her up... "Is fair play." I kissed the tip of her nose while wrapping a scarf around her neck.

"I love you, Edward," she said on a sigh. I'm sorry for pushing your boundaries, for being so selfish. Am I forgiven?" she peeked at me from under her long lashes. _How can eyelashes be so sexy?_

"Indeed. How can I be mad at you for loving me, for wanting me? I'm sorry that you doubted my feelings for you, my Bella. Even looking like an Eskimo, you're the most beautiful creature in the whole of creation. Truly, I love you."

I scooped her into my arms, cradling her for sleep.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think I can sleep in a scarf and hat…"

"Guess you should have thought of that before tonight's charades. You knew I would have to defend my honor somehow."

"Edward! You said I was forgiven!" She took off the scarf and hat and threw them to the floor beside the bed, then turned to snuggle into my chest.

"Goodnight, Edward. I love you."

"And I you. Sleep, my little Eskimo, my only love." I began to hum her lullaby, willing her to sleep. _Wonder what she'll be saying in her sleep tonight..._

**Hmmm. I know what I'd be dreaming about if I were Bella... I hope it was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write.**


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